Maybe things aren't so bad... I know I kinda left yesterday off on a poor note. I had a rough day tbh, but things are looking a little better right now. I think I just had the realization that my issues are a lot worse than I thought they were. As someone who prides herself on being a very self aware person it came as a shock to me and I overreacted a little. Or, well, a lot actually.
Yesterday was a trip - pun intended ;) - and I came out of it a lot more aware of my issues. Through confrontation I learned a lot more about myself. I just wish that things didn't build up as much as they have.
If you didn't really get the pun above I took shrooms yesterday. Apart from the gross taste I ended up having a really good time. It was not at all what I thought it would be like and I am grateful for that. I think next time I would maybe want to do acid at a higher dose. I would also like it to be somewhat warm out lol.
I spent the trip with a friend of mine. I'm very grateful that I didn't have to do that alone. I already get in my head too much on a good day. I felt my thoughts constantly pulled away from me and I wandered a lot. Which I suppose is the point isn't it. The one good thing about it being winter is how beautiful the ice and snow is. Here is the rare Penny photo (I'm on the right for those who don't know me). We found some really big icicles, and maybe stole them from someones house - each house can only have 8 icicles, duh.
Being on shrooms makes everything look so interesting. I actually spent an hour editing a single photo. It was actually the best thing I did that night in my opinion. I ended up with some good edits, though I'm not so happy with them now. I did not take the photo nor do I know who did. The DJ is my brother which is why I had the photo to edit.
Sorry, if there is a way to collage these photos better I have no idea how to do it. The last one I actually did today while sober and i actually think it might be better than the others. Again I was more so focused on how the colors made me feel rather than how the photo looked. Despite my mediocre photo editing skills I think they turned out alright. Very artsy, but that's how I was feeling anyway. I just wish the photos were higher quality. Maybe this is a sign to go out and take more photos...
Anyway, I just wanted to give another update on my life and to prove to all you readers that I'm not just a sad person all the time. I haven't posted many updates like this and I wish I did. I think I could use that balance.
- Penny
P.S. The title of each post is purposefully chosen! Each title (for the main posts) are of a song and I recommend listening to the song while reading. I realize now that this isn't really helpful to read after a post, but whatever forever.