[song is Preacher by Lowercase Roses. i'm handing you this one so be grateful. didn't really think about the song choice too much it just kinda matches the energy.]
as i sit, in an empty academic building at 9:38 AM, i think about mortality and human existence. sometimes i'm in love with being human. just the simple process of going through life, eating good food, sharing moments with close friends. others, i hate how limited i feel existing within human bounds. intellectually, i struggle with the question: "does my form dictate who i am?" the obvious answer might be no, but i also realize that in a broader social context it might be yes. if i exist in a human body does that not make me human? but then again, are we all just what we look like? we're told from a young age not to judge a book by its cover, and yet we apply this only to people and their nature.
if you haven't read susan stryker i strongly recommend you do. she was a person who felt so disconnected from society that she identified more so as a monster than a person. i think about this a lot. i think people do this a lot more than they realize. or rather a lot more than i have thought about. furries and therians constantly dissociate themselves from person hood, but it's done so in a way that just pushes them into different boxes. maybe this is my biggest issue with being a furry, that we seem to push ourselves into stereotypes and boxes. dogs act one way and cats act a different. in the end it all feels the same.
[I've decided to change my capitalization here, figured I would point this out in case it bothered people. I got sick of typing all lowercase.]
Why do people feel the need to strictly define themselves. I see this so often with queer people, but it happens in all cultures. Does the need to stand out and be unique push us to create new labels and micro-labels to stand out? Looking into queer culture it seems that this is the case. There are so many different identity labels - if you look them up half cite 4chan for their origins - within the queer community as a whole. Speaking from my own perspective, I would say that we all struggle with existence and individuality that we take preexisting constructs and seek to define ourselves within them. I think all of the different labels within the queer community is people trying to define themselves in a way that makes sense to them. Despite the new labels, I would still argue that it build on preexisting concepts of human notions of gender and sexuality and doesn't violate this.
I think it is because of my beliefs about this that I have really only broadened my identities over time. I just identity as queer and nonbinary right now. Though I do really like lesbians and I often identify as that. I feel like labels are for other's and I don't know if I fully like the way that we currently use them. Don't get me wrong, I still think that labels exist and are important socially. In my idealized world, they wouldn't though.
The thing I hate most is when other people impose their own ideas of your identity onto you. I hate how it feels like others can have power over you in this way.
Well, this was kinda a ramble. I don't think I wrote this very well, but I'm no philosopher.
See you soon,
- The Being Known as Penny